This Life Is Not My Own

I have a testimony and it's actually not even mine to claim. It’s a story of how Jesus brought me out of darkness, how He made life out of something that was once dead. It's not about anything I have done or will do, but only what He did for me. John 15:16 says "You did not choose me, but I chose you..." Our salvation is not based on how good we are, what we do, or anything we say. We can't just one day choose to be saved; it's not up to us. God calls us to Him in His timing. When the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sins, He allows us to accept this amazing gift of Truth and live a life only to glorify Him. This means letting go of future dreams, current friendships, and past mistakes. Surrendering every day from now until you die, living a life of worship for the One who created you. When you acknowledge that you were born a sinner with a bad heart and that you are in desperate need of a Savior to SAVE you from eternal punishment, that is when the Holy Spirit is placed inside of you. You become a walking temple, representing Jesus. If you claim to be a Christian, while still living for the world, that's when Satan gets a hold of you, tells you that you're good, leads you to go against God, and eventually fills your mind with lies that corrupt your heart. When Jesus lives inside your heart and you allow the Holy Spirit to change you, He will give you a desire for Him, which will lead you from sin. God says that if you love Him you hate sin. If you have the Holy Spirit living in you He gives you the strength to turn away and run to Jesus. We’re at war against Satan right now and it's very important that we understand how he attacks us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, but the cool thing is God is bigger and better and has the power to overcome Satan and all of his evilness. I know it's hard to find truth in a messed up world and hard to discern what's right from what's wrong. The thing I didn't have in high school was a love for God. I had a relationship with Him and thought I knew enough about being a Christian to just get by. As someone who has messed up big time, hit rock bottom more than once, and felt unworthy of God's attention, I have learned that the life God promises to His children is not easy. It actually gets harder. He breaks you down and show you things about yourself you have never seen. He points out the sin in your life, takes away what you based your life around, and then you find yourself wondering why the heck you gave up your old life? Aside of all of that, I can testify that it gets better and I’m not just talking about what you think is better. I’m talking about exchanging an old, selfish life, for something never imaginable. I’m talking about spending every day falling in love with someone who will never fail you. Someone who has crazy plans for your future, and wants, doesn't have to, but wants to pour His love on you. I have no idea why He would choose to save me and pick me up out of the dirt and bless me with the Holy Spirit, the Truth, and an eternal life in heaven! It doesn’t seem right to me and it's because it's not. I was never destined for heaven; I was born into sin and left with no way of getting rid of it. But God has invested in me; He gave the best He had, just so I wouldn't have to spend the rest of eternity in torture. He did it out of love, an agape type of love, one that gives without expecting anything in return, one that lasts forever, and one that loves with the understanding of not being loved back. After I realized what He had done for me, I wanted nothing but to devote everything in me to Him for the rest of my life. Nothing brings me more joy than hearing of how Jesus has changed people's lives because we can praise Him together for the change He brought upon our lives. I always thought it was what I had to do, what I had to say, and to realize, through scripture, that I had nothing to do with it, makes me love and praise Him that much more. I took the Bible for granted, even this past summer. Overwhelming, it left me having no idea where to start, but now, after having read the entire Bible cover to cover, I know the importance in educating myself. I was blown away that this document full of different books, written by different people, at different times, says the same exact thing. As I began testing different beliefs against truth, I was amazed at how wrong I had it. This isn’t just a book meant to collect dust on my shelf, it’s a love letter God wrote (through different people) to us, so that we don't have to figure it out on our own. You think about a house, the builders don't just up and start laying down cement and throw some wood together, no they follow a blueprint. It sounds cheesy but the Bible is a Christian’s blueprint. We are blessed when we spend time in His word, and over time you start to notice it becomes less like a chore and more of a desire. Then you notice the effect it has on the way you treat others, and soon you realize you have a love for people you never had before. You start praying more and waiting patiently for God's voice. And you look back and realize all those things you thought were hard to overcome, have suddenly disappeared, and it's because when you're so focused on Jesus you don't have time to worry about them. Life starts looking different as He gives you a new set of eyes. You start noticing the sin in other people and you want to change them, but you have to remember that you can't, and that He is still working on you. In fact, until the day He calls us to Him, He will continue to sanctify us and make us more like Him. It doesn't stop after you decide to sacrifice a week to go help a poor country, it doesn't stop after you read the Bible all the way through, it doesn't stop when you decide to save sex for marriage; it never stops. Yes He will bless you for those decisions, but when you're being made more like the One who is perfect, it takes a lifetime to even come close. It's not figuring out who you are, but whose you are.